What now?

Or....


Or...



Many of you know this, but for the past five months or so, we've been seriously considering (and looking for jobs to make it possible) a move back South. North Carolina, to be exact. Why? Many reasons--the biggest of which is the need and desire to be closer to my family (or any family--Boise was also considered) and to give Trav an opportunity to go to school. NC was the best bet: my dad and stepmom are there, it's closer to my family in FL and other places in the region, and it offers job opportunity for me and school choices for Travis. It also provides the same recreational choices we love about Montana: fly fishing, hiking, (some) skiing, four seasons, and relatively scarce population.

Well, tonight I learned that my dad, for several legitimate reasons, may leave NC at some point. He was giving me a head's up so that we could rethink our moving decision. I greatly appreciate this, clearly, but I am also a little bummed. NC seemed so perfect; the best of both worlds--the South, but not too hot. Close, but not too close, to FL where my sister and mom are. Different, but not too different from Montana. Of course, we could still try to move there, but there's a chance we may not have the family we hoped for.

In addition, I've had zero luck securing a job there, and the prospects are not good. I suppose they're bad everywhere, but the unemployment rate there is quite high. I imagine they will hire locals over some unknown lady from Montana.

So, while I still desperately want to move away from Bozeman, we have new choices to consider. I have stated countless times that I will NEVER move back to Florida. I would like to stay true to that word. However, the thought of giving Travis a taste of the culture in which I grew up (he grew up in Boise, Idaho) is attractive to me. I think he'd understand me better if he experienced the South in all its glory. The heat and humidity keep me away, though. If I had to pick just once place where I know I could be reasonably happy (even though I'd be sweaty) because I'd have a nearly instant support system and family close by, I'd choose Tallahassee. However, I'm not sure the job prospects are any better there than they are in Asheville.

However, I also feel driven to go back to Plan A, which was Boise to begin with. Whereas Boise: Travis :: Melbourne: Meagan, we could live in a different area from where he grew up and it could feel significantly different. We'd have his parents and grandmother, plus his network of friends (some of whom are parents, too). Boise also offers a good university, community colleges, and a ground campus of my current employer: The University of Phoenix. Not sure I could get a job with them there (or that I'd want to necessarily), but it's an option.

To me, Boise seemed like a solid option since it also offered the recreational options we enjoy, it's still out West, which I prefer, and the climate is relatively mild. It also has a bigger airport with more options for me to fly home.

I find change exciting, but also infuriating. I want to just pick up and GO and not have to deal with the job hunt and the uncertainty. I want to BE where we're going to be for a while and feel as if I can put roots down. Here, I feel as if I can't really invest in the community since I plan to be gone soon. Is that a mistake? Should I just jump in and be part of things while I'm here? I suppose I am doing that, since I'm attending (but haven't joined) a church here. I've made a friend or two, and I've volunteered to co-facilitate a valley-wide women's Bible study this fall. I like to be part of things and feel as if I'm invested in a place. It's not difficult to do that here, but I want to do more. I'm eager to volunteer with the church youth group again. I miss working with teenagers and I have always found so much fulfillment from those experiences. I always learn more from those kids than they could ever learn from me! But I don't want to jump in only to leave a few months later. I feel guilty whenever I get to know kids and then leave. I don't want to be that person--I want to be committed and deeply rooted.

Oh, I should mention that one of the major reasons why we can't really take root here is the cost of living. I can't find sustainable work here, and neither can Travis. Plus, this town doesn't offer a good school solution for Travis. Even if it did, I couldn't make enough teaching to support us living here. Housing costs alone are absurd. Boise and NC both simply had more options. NC's cost of living is significantly lower. Boise's is somewhat lower, too, and because it's a larger area, it has community colleges as well as universities. We need options, folks.